What kinds of workplace difficulties can go to mediation?

Anything that involves a relationship disagreement or complex decision that the parties cannot resolve on their own. Coworker disputes, internal team disputes or conflicts between teams, supervisor/employee disputes, company to company disputes—all are appropriate for mediation, contingent on the ‘good faith’ of the parties of course. Here is our advice—refer workplace disputes of any kind at the earliest point possible, before escalation to formal grievance or complaint procedures and especially before litigation proceedings. It is not to say we cannot settle these things at these levels, but it becomes more difficult, and willingness of the parties decreases as the conflict is elevated, because are feelings of betrayal and additional offenses occurring at each level. It is ALWAYS worth attempting to mediate before the necessity of litigation, which is much more emotionally, psychologically and financially more expensive than you can ever anticipate. It’s like having a baby—no one can explain the pain until you actually experience it!

I am an employer. Can I require employees to go to mediation?

Yes, you can require them to attempt mediation, but you cannot force them to make an agreement. We recommend you present it like this: “I am giving you the opportunity to find solutions informally, on your own in mediation. Since this is primarily a relational problem between the two of you, I do not need to decide who is right or wrong or how to resolve this, which probably won’t make anyone as happy as the two of you finding your own answers. I am willing to pay for it, and only require that you attend the screening and assessment session with the mediators to find out about the process and see if you want to do it voluntarily. Both of you will have to agree before they can proceed. I will ask the mediators to contact each of you individually to set up the assessment session as soon as possible. If we need to shift some responsibilities around to make this possible, let me know. I hope you will both give this your best effort and whatever you say will remain confidential, even from me. I only ask that you let me know if it resolved in mediation or not. Thank you.”

Isn’t mediation only used for divorces and business settlements?

Absolutely not, mediation is best suited for reconciling problems in any kind of relationship in which people cannot seem to reconcile on their own. A neutral facilitator can help people hear one another in new ways, objectively identify problems and brainstorm solutions agreeable to everyone involved.

Are lawyers the only ones who can perform mediation for the courts?

No, mediators come from all walks of life and professions. However, regardless of the other professions they may practice, when mediators, they should only remain neutral facilitators of the mediation process, and not act as lawyers, counselors, union reps or anything else, without explicit permission to step out of the mediator role and into the other professional role. Additionally, doing so can ruin their ability to be seen as neutral during the remainder of the process.

What kinds of disputes can be resolved in mediation?

Anytime there are people in relationships, there are eventually conflicts—families, workplace, school, church, civic organizations. It’s not a matter of if, but when… Conflict is quite normal, and in and of itself is neutral--neither positive or negative. It is how we learn to handle conflict (or not) that becomes positive or negative. Conflict is simply a signal that something is not working for one, both, or all people in the relationship, and that something needs to change so the relationship can work well again. Mediators do not look for fault or who is to blame. We just identify what the problems are and help parties find solutions to them that everyone can agree upon.

I’ve only heard of mediation for divorce, so what are the reconciliation and intervention forms of mediation about?

Family Reconciliation Mediation is for couples trying to resolve age-old arguments, explore if their marriage can be saved if one or both are considering divorce, resolve parenting disagreements, discuss serious breaches of trust, such as infidelities, really any kind of dispute a marriage or partnership may encounter. FRM can even be used as a preventive booster, to clean out the closets of built up minor resentments or to add the spark and attention back into a relationship. Generational disputes are also handled in FRM. Adult siblings who haven’t spoken to one another for years may have to suddenly work together to care for a disabled parent. Estrangements between parents and adult children are also dealt with in mediation to see if the relationship can be restored. Adopted children who wish to reconnect with biological parents or vice versa, but need the buffer of a professional to facilitate the conversation. Call us to see if your issue is appropriate for mediation. Family Intervention Mediation is usually applied in situations where a family wants to intervene together to ask another family member to get treatment for a substance abuse issue or a suspected mental illness that is harming that person’s life and affecting many others in the family. We typically use 2 mediators so one can step into a clinical role to identify any undiagnosed mental health issues, but everyone in the family must give this permission before the mediation begins. In this way, we can mediate a family treatment plan to address the issue for the benefit of everyone involved. We do not allow shaming of the person with the addiction or suspected mental health issue. They will also have the free will to agree to the process or not and to agree to treatment or not. This provides the optimum chance they will do what is needed and not simply resist the perceived control of others in trying to make them do it. We will ask family members to stand ready to say what the consequence to each relationship with this person will be if they do not get help, but to present it objectively and with compassion and empathy.

How is mediation different than counseling?

Mediation is typically much more structured and solution-focused than the way most counselors approach counseling. Counseling is often an unstructured, open discussion of problems facing people. It is most appropriate for individuals, but mediation is frequently most appropriate for two or more people. If people are seeking help with relationships, it is because they either do not have the skill or the will to resolve problems on their own. Without the structure of mediation for negotiating solutions, discussions can devolve to arguments in the counselor or pastor’s offices in the same way they do at home. The structure of mediation does not allow this and naturally leads to solutions when both parties are willing and able to work in good faith.

So, what is the success rate of SB Mediation & Counseling, LLC?

Our success rate is clear, 100% of people who can and will work in good faith resolve their conflicts successfully. However, 0% of cases in which one or both people are unable or unwilling to work in good faith resolve their disagreements. This is the reason that SB screens every case before jumping into the mediation process as many mediation firms do. We do not want you to waste your hard-earned money, emotional energy, or time if your case does not have a good chance of resolution. We will tell you if we think it is inappropriate or if we have our doubts about the chances for success. If you wish to go forward at your own risk, we will allow a provisional start, but you go forward knowing it may not work. We will stop the process if parties cannot or will not follow ground rules or the stages or the process. Rest assured though, if we tell you that we feel it is an appropriate case for mediation, you can have the security of knowing that all of the elements for meeting your goals do exist for success.

So will you explain what ‘good faith’ means if it is so important for success in mediation?

‘Good faith’ in negotiations has several elements: 1. It is ‘the want to’ in attempting to resolve conflict. You may not know how it can work out or have much hope when you’ve had the same argument for a long time, but if you WANT TO find a solution, we can help you find it. 2. It is the ability to work in good faith. Sometimes there are things that impact ability, such as: a. Mental health issues that impair someone from taking another person’s point of view or understanding their perspective, or that may prevent empathy for others. b. Substance use or abuse issues can impair thought processes or alter emotions, from how the person would view things when sober. c. Intimidation due to a power imbalance. Mediators are trained to overcome these in most cases, but if one person is simply too intimidated to be open and honest about the issues, there is not much we can do to force them to talk about things. d. Sometimes, people just do not have the skills needed for healthy communication, but this is an easy fix with a short class, and mediation IS then possible. 3. The willingness to work in good faith. This usually involves unforgiveness and extreme loss of trust. People who are emotionally divorced, often do not have it in them to try any longer. Often people know exactly what they should do to fix a marriage or other relationship, they just WILL NOT do those things due to unforgiveness and resentment a. In these cases, we can facilitate some structured forgiveness work (in either faith-based or secular, nonreligious formats) if people do want to make one last attempt at salvaging their relationship. However, we can guarantee that if both parties are injured and waiting for the other person to change before they will give an inch, this approach is doomed to fail. b. ‘My way or the highway’ thinking is definitely not conducive to negotiating needs that are fair and balanced for both or all parties. If you are only here to present what you want and not open to hearing and offering what another person may need to resolve issues, or vice-versa, mediation is likely not appropriate. However, we still advise you to allow us to assess the case, because often people tell us of their desire to reconcile when they cannot tell the person with whom they are in conflict.

What if we have experienced some of the above with each other, is it even worth doing a screening session?

It is always worth doing a screening session. Remember that people need mediators because they can’t do it on their own, so the way they act with a mediator may prove totally different than how they are when no one else is around—and that goes for you as well. People become threatened and panicked about losing a relationship and act in ways that are not always healthy. When skilled mediators create a safe space for difficult conversations and prepare you for the process, things look completely different than the conflict looks without a mediator.

Do I have to have a lawyer with me to do mediation?

No, you do not need an attorney to go to mediation. At SB Mediation & Counseling, LLC, the majority of our work is pre-litigation, meaning that no one has filed suit, and the parties are informally negotiating at the earliest possible time, trying to resolve the conflict. Whether it’s a marriage trying to reconcile, a couple that wants to divorce amicably with the least expense, coworkers sent to resolve problems of relationship in the workplace, or two companies in conflict, mediation works the absolute best before attorneys get involved. These cases seldom need to file any suit because by nature, they are people looking for constructive solutions. In other words, they can and will work in good faith to find the solutions for themselves. So, it is not a requirement that attorneys come. If you are already involved in litigation, your lawyer will likely want to accompany you, and you may indeed want them there. Many attorneys understand that their presence can make the process appear more adversarial to their clients or to the opposition anyway, and therefore the process is not as productive as when people feel free to speak with confidentiality. However, in very high conflict cases where people are impaired with a mental health issue or substance abuse problem, or when there has been violence in a relationship, sometimes the presence of attorneys can calm things down with their own client and they can actually talk some sense into an unreasonable client, because they have gained their trust. In these cases, attorneys may very well help the case settle in mediation before it has to go to court. The cost-benefit is always a consideration if you are paying both attorneys and mediators to sit in the same process. At SB, we want the discussion to occur between the clients so they feel ownership and will keep their agreements, so if the parties are capable of acting in good faith on their own, why pay attorneys to just sit there, when we do not require you to sign anything and you can send the final agreement to them for review and protection of your interests? We are also fine with our parties calling a break at any time and to call for their advice. Our goals is to meet your needs as a client in whatever manner it works best for you.

So, are you saying I can actually negotiate my divorce settlement without hiring an attorney?

Yes, if both parties can and will work in good faith, which SB can assess during our screening process. There are 3 options in Texas for divorce—1) both parties hire attorneys for representation, 2) one party hires an attorney after the terms of the agreement are decided, in order to file an ‘agreed’ or ‘uncontested’ divorce, or 3) the parties can file their agreed divorce themselves without any representation (this is never recommended when minor children or complex property issues are involved, however—we advise that you use option 1 or 2 in these cases). If you mediate your divorce and custody agreement before hiring representation, it is usually less contentious, and you can save significant amounts of money. Rather than each party paying a $5,000 to $10,000 retainer to 2 attorneys, as part of the mediation you decide which spouse will hire an attorney for $1500 to $3000 to write up the final decree of divorce, based on your mediation agreement and that attorney will file it with the court. Mediators at SB will disallow any cases in which it appears that one party is trying to take advantage of another by avoiding legal representation, however, and make appropriate referrals to attorneys for both parties. Our job is to keep things fair and balanced.

FAQS | SB Mediation and Cou

SB offers program implementation to prevent workplace conflict and at minimum, the distraction from productivity that it causes a few employees, to the well-developed, toxic environments that can ruin a business. 1) Shift your culture from one of conflict management, which most businesses are, to a conflict resolution culture, where everyone is responsible for the quickest resolution of culture possible, and not doing so can have disciplinary consequences. 2) Create a strategic plan for phasing in the new culture. 3) Provide training for every employee in healthy communication and conflict resolution. We call this training, 'Creating Connections'. It will also help with customer relations and customer satisfaction, in addition to employee relations. 4) Empower your employees to generate Team Guidelines for behavior that will create and maintain through positive peer pressure, the environment they want to come to work to each day. Employees can then police themselves and deal with behavior that is unhealthy before it needs management intervention. You get to run your business, and no longer need to put out drama fires between employees. If it comes to you from the employees, it is at a stage where interventions simply have not worked; and is ready for written disciplinary action. You won't have to watch for months to catch them acting poorly, which they are careful not to do in front of you.

Fax Number: 1-888-518-9590

Frequently Asked Questions

What can a business do to prevent conflict in the workplace?